The Slithering Snake and the Cactus / Okan Üstünkök

 

 

 

 

 The Slithering Snake and the Cactus  by Kayra

 

THE SLITHERING SNAKE AND THE CACTUS

Pittsford 230115

 

 (Please note that the paragraph in italics below is to be read aloud with a lisp like that assumed to be of a snake’s. It may further be noticed that some of the dialogues later in the story are also written as if the words are pronounced with a lisp. )

 

Thith ith an abtholutely true and totally thientific  account of the hithtorical evolution of therpentth told through the thtory of  Thlithy the Thlithering  Thnake which wazz a  rattler, no leth, that onth lived on the thandy and thtony thlopes of the famouth Therpentine Hillth, clothe to the equally well-known Thtrawberry Fieldth Forever. 

 

As a favour to the reader, here is the regular speak: 

 

This is an absolutely true and totally scientific account of the historical evolution of serpents told through the story of Slithy the Slithering Snake which was a rattler, no less, that once lived on the sandy and stony slopes of the famous  Serpentine Hills, close to the equally well-known Strawberry Fields Forever.

    

One sunny Sunday morning in early spring, ages and ages ago when the world was still young,  Slithy woke up from her seasonal slumber known as hibernation. At the start of winter Slithy had coiled herself under a stone, thinking it would be as good a hibernation place as any. However, the second she woke up with a wide yawn she realized that there now was a cactus that had grown in the winter  by the side of the stone she went to sleep under.  “How am I going to slither my way out of here now ?”  she said to herself because the broad stem of the cactus had pretty much blocked the little hole she had slipped through to get under the stone. “Oh my!” she exclaimed, “I am afraid I’ll have to stay here forever and starve! Where did this cactus come from, anyway?”  She was already rather stiff because she had stayed coiled for many weeks during hibernation.  She could not move easily within the little space under the stone. So she tried to turn her head towards the cactus to see if there was any way she could cope with the predicament. In the dim light streaking through the gap under the stone Slithy saw the roots of the cactus. She said “I know what! If I bite into the cactus I may just be able to gnaw my way through  and squeeze out of here.” She then quickly brought her mouth near the roots and with one big bite she buried her teeth into the cactus only to realize, alas,  that the cactus and the stone she hibernated under had fused into each other. As  she tried to bite,  Slithy’s teeth hit something that was  very very hard.  “Ouch!”, hissed Slithy, and retreated in pain but the damage was done. Almost all her teeth crumbled out as she bit into the rock-hard roots of the cactus mixed with the stone. As she jerked her head back, she saw her beautiful pearly white teeth fall to the ground. There were only two left in Slithy’s mouth now, the sharpest and the hardest two that did not break. Nowadays these are called fangs. She pulled back, moaning,  but was determined to get out of the hole, teeth or no teeth. She paused for a minute to reassess the situation and decided to have another go, this time with her tongue, licking the hard roots of the cactus to soften them up so that she could push her body out of the hole. With a renewed hope Slithy started rubbing her tongue against the cactus. She licked and licked and licked. There was indeed some softening of the cactus roots, but hey!  All of a sudden, Slithy’s tongue  felt funny as it split into two down its length. Slithy, alarmed, said “Oh my! Firth I loth all but two of my teeth, and now I have thplit my tongue into two. Am I not going to thee the light of the day again, I wonder?”  

Just then, through the corner of her eye she saw something moving. An old and grey mole, burrowing through the earth, suddenly came up to where Slithy was. Moles normally could not see well in broad daylight but because it was pretty dark under the stone the mole clearly saw Slithy coiled up. “Hello!” he said in a coarse voice, obviously hardened by years of digging tunnels through the soil.

“What’s a nice thing like you doing in a place like this?” he asked.  “Shouldn’t you be out there slithering down the stony slopes by now?”.  Slithy was almost in tears. She said “there ith nothing I would like more than that but I can’t”. 

“Whaddaya mean you can’t?”   the mole snapped back. 

“I jutht can’t. I can’t thqueeze through the hole now becauthe the cactuth has blocked it tholid while I hibernated.”

“Why don’t you bite your way out then?”.

“I tried but I loth all but two of my teeth”. 

“Then try your tongue”.

“I did but I thplit it into two, trying to lick the  cactuth thtem thoft”.

“I see. Let me see if I can do anything to help”.

With this the old mole came closer and dug his sharp claws under the stone, scraping and shoveling away the soil until he made a new opening for Slithy to go through. There were still the spikes of the cactus sticking out but Slithy was so excited with the new opportunity that she could not wait a second more. She made a mad dash toward to hole and slithered through, only to realize when she came out into the open that the spikes of the cactus had scratched, torn and ripped her skin from end to end. This did not hurt at all but Slithy was shocked to see her own skin stripped and  hanging on the cactus, swaying slowly in the gentle breeze. “Mither Mole! Look what happened! I loth my thkin! The cactuth hath it now”.

“Well, it is no skin of my back, as they say. At least you are out of this hole”  said Mr. Mole.

“You are abtholutely right. I’ll thee if I can grow a new thkin. It might even be better than the one I loth. I am good, I gueth. Thankth for your help.”

“Anytime, anytime.” And the mole went back into the hole.

 

This is how all later descendents of Slithy have come to have two sharp teeth called fangs, forked tongues, a lisp, and skins which they shed every year in order to grow a newer, nicer,   shinier one. 

 

Slithy had gone back to the same stone near the cactus for her yearly hibernation all her life. As she woke up every spring the mole came to dig Slithy out of the hole and the  cactus pinched her to help with the  shedding of her skin. Most of the time her old skin remained tangled on the spikes.  In the olden times,  the villagers used to come and pick the old skins to make fashionable shoes or purses for ladies. 

The snakes all around the world still shed their skins but these days they are pretty much wasted. They are often seen blowing in the wind here and there in the Strawberry Fields Forever, forever. 

 

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